Men at Work - Quareness Series (33rd "Lecture").
It seems that for the vast majority of the male "half" of our human species, achievement is often a defining element of self-image and self-worth and that work is the modern-day forum for this aspect of male identity. However, the marginal few that can see real achievement in their work would appear to be far outnumbered by those for whom their work experience is a daily trial of endurance. The mass are trapped in jobs using up most of their energy and offering little by way of dignity, creativity or meaning, and the daily toil tends to be seen as a necessary sacrifice in order to fulfil their mandate as men and provide for their families.
For many such men their emotional needs are met through some kind of fellowship with workmates who are "in the same boat". And given men's indoctrinated difficulty with regard to revealing their vulnerabilities, the little nourishment they typically get from other men is to laugh together at those in authority, play games in the pub, give out about their spouses, and enjoy each other's competitiveness around sport.
This need that men have to find some source of attachment or meaning because of the emptiness they experience in their own working lives, regularly finds expression in the bond that they build with particular sports teams....a passion that often surpasses their love for the game itself. They shout and cheer (even cry at times) at the glory of winning and the despair of defeat. And it has to be said there is much value in such communion given the drought in opportunity for our adult males to bond with each other.
The joy and excitement that is felt as a result of this communion with other men is hardly ever directly talked about, but it works and is a comfort to a great many who otherwise are locked emotionally into a place of isolation and aloneness.
It has to be said also that it's difficult for men whose productive energies are used up by the industrial machine or the administrative infrastructure to find the energy to develop alternative activities that could help them express their creativity. To do so requires money and opportunities and energy, but especially it requires awareness. And awareness, it seems to me, is the key to real health.
Many of those whose work allows a large measure of visible success, financial reward and the expression of power, seem to be enthusiastic but rather blinkered in their commitment and zeal. The fact that us men are broadly conditioned to experience our self-worth and dignity by what we produce and achieve, may be a serious weakness in our psychological structure.
Those relative few who are chosen because they have extraordinary potential, talent, skill, education or personality, are the elite that become identified with the organisation rather than simply working for it. They make a subtle but important psychological shift....they become believers in the organisation....their identity becomes connected to the organisation. In return for this soul commitment the man gets a sense of having succeeded, of beating the competition, of having pride which is in essence dysfunctional. I think it was the novelist/poet C.S.Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia, etc.) who said - "Give up your soul, get power in return. But once our souls, that is ourselves, have been given up, the power thus conferred will not belong to us. We shall in fact be the slaves and puppets of that to which we have given our souls".
As with religious cults, there is a work out-group i.e. those who do not believe in the ideology. In the corporate world these are the trade competitors, those who have "failed", the wimps, the do-gooders and those on lower rungs of the ladder who have no power. And there's the elite who are endowed by those who look up to them with qualities they may not in reality possess. There's also "identity" rituals such as company barbecues, who gets to sit near the top table at company outings, training days designed to enhance esprit de corps, etc. And as the central element in keeping the system working, there's an emotional bond that involves surrender of critical faculties, with members denying the reality that they are being used, that they have not found a new family, that they will get tired and old and that new and more aggressive younger ones will take their place....in short they are disposable and will eventually become redundant. Ultimately the corporate world doesn't care about them.
No doubt some of the "successful" realise that their work is just a job where financial and other rewards are exchanged for one's talents, energy and ideas, and this indeed forms the basis for a healthy relationship to one's work. However, when it's noticed that you're not a "company man" you may find yourself being left behind in the promotion race and overtaken by those prepared to make a greater level of commitment. Again the dominant factor apparently at play here is that men tend to be cultivated and trained to look around for something that tells them they're a success.
It's a general principle of psychological health that the greater the dependence for our well-being that we place on circumstances outside our control, the greater our vulnerability when they go awry. For many men at work there comes over time a sort of growing realisation that they are being selected out in a process of survival of the fittest and can look forward only to the desperation of facing into their declining achievement and pride (essentially based on a dysfunctional relationship with work).
Any society that has as its central economic activity a reliance on profit-oriented capitalism, must pay a certain price. Most men most of the time do not seem to realise the aggression and cruelty that is implicit in this system - they are taken in by their own competitive pride and blinded by the illusions created by human resources ideology. And this is so despite the obvious "pointers" where those who are not "making the grade" for example are no longer invited to social outings, or those facing the drop are neglected or looked upon with some version of pity that is as undignified as it is insincere. Sadly it seems most men become victims of this system without any real insight into what has happened to them. For the "luckier" few who do become aware of how they're being damaged and can do little about it, there's at least an option to minimise that damage and compensate in some way for what they are losing.
In summary then the way that formative influences in cultivating young boys encourage them to identify too closely with work as the basis for self-esteem, results in a deep sense of inadequacy and defeat among many men when they spend their productive energies in work that has few rewards and little meaning. As for those relatively few men who are very successful and who also identify their value with this success, in doing so they tend to lose perspective and either burn out or lose themselves in the process.
Work is important and valuable. Being productive and creative, taking responsibility to earn and provide for your dependents are virtues worthy of pursuit. But the value of our own unique selves can never be tied to these without serious consequences for our health and happiness.
Sean.
Dean of Quareness.
August, 2013.
It'd be nice to think that one day our Irish "Health" Authorities (e.g. "Experts", Cabinet Ministers, Department, etc.) would get around to addressing societal structural reforms relating to these much more crucial matters for the well-being of our citizens rather than wasting scarce resources on piffling side issues such as banning smoking on our beaches and in public parks ffs.