Virtual Addiction - Quareness Series 223rd "Lecture".
Ever wondered why some people are relatively prone to addiction of various types and others are not? Could it be that some of us are drawn towards a kind of dependency that develops from failing to address problems and pain in a healthy manner and looking for a perceived "easy fix" to make the "bad feelings" go away? Dare I suggest that these questions have taken on greater relevance today given the apparent widespread (and growing) addiction on the part of many in their use of social media...a sort of virtual world fixation.
It seems that social media systems are contrived at least in so far as they appear built to lock in attention. They also seem deliberately difficult to disengage from as they fill a growing need amongst many for fellowship by providing an "always on" and infinitely malleable customised community to engage us and sort us into warring factions. It's rapidly becoming normalised for the disturbed amongst us to find commonality with one another via social media (and otherwise) in demanding to be exalted by everyone else. The real danger here lies with a deep-rooted codependency which may become extremely difficult to break free from because of its addictive nature.
There's a part of our natural life cycle when we each get to step out past our immediate family set up and begin to integrate into the tribe and its social mores and customs. Whilst this evolved adaptive trait allows for community and cooperation to occur, we do need to be aware that this social integration can turn maladaptive if the society upon which one is imprinting has turned toxic. Where everything becomes commodified and ranked, dysfunction is inevitable and as the fella said...no one should grow up in a room that big.
On social media it's easier to rage against or denigrate others and just drop them for those you agree with...instead of listening to different viewpoints, learning, accommodating or finding confluence. Where no one has to change their mind or broaden their perspective, the echo chambers may grow ever smaller and more intense. In avoiding that which gives one stress in order to run away and take hits of that which makes one feel better, addictive behaviour thrives. In this regard our use of social media can provide a steady dopamine stream and a form of neurochemical hijacking in manipulating our "reward pathways". And all that may really grow from such conditioning is an extremist ideology peopled with desperate and dependent folk increasingly unable to function outside of ever-shrinking tribal circles. Where in the real world localised society has tended to pull people towards the centre moderating their demands, entitlements, excesses and intrusions, in this type of dysfunctional virtual world the pull is more towards angry fragmentation, intolerance, mutual incomprehension and illness.
What we might term "the messy middle" is what most likely constitutes the beating heart of stable society where disagreement may persist within reasonable and useful bounds generating vibrance rather than dissonance. Perhaps the enduring presence of difference is a sign of our avoiding becoming stultified by sameness in an echo chamber. Whereas people can lose the ability to honestly self-image when their (virtual) mirrors are all running filters, they can regain such through having meaningful difference from which to extrapolate the self...as in real world interaction. Ultimately, however, social media is a neutral tool which can be made use of both for our benefit (informing and broadening our horizons and making our lives better and richer) or to our detriment (starving us of true psychological nourishment and replacing meaning with misery). And the choice now for each of us is our own as to which of these "worlds" we wish to inhabit.
Sean.
Dean of Quareness.
July, 2025.